Exiting the Pain Cave of Perfection


Today I discovered that there are different kinds of Pain Caves. Those who have been following my blog know that 2009 is the year of the Pain Cave for me. I am learning how to reach for my athletic dreams by pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and into higher levels of performance.

So far so good! My run this morning completes 7 weeks of pushing myself into higher levels of fitness. My resting heart rate of 52 as I sat in the car today preparing for my run, as well as my recent 5K personal best are two strong indicators that my adventures in the Pain Cave of Performance are paying off in a major way.

I am happy to report that today I learned how to exit the Pain Cave of Perfection. Let me explain. Runners, as a general rule, are perfectionists. We are hardworking. Even obstinate. We will pursue our addiction despite injuries that should cause us to rest. We make liberal use of denial, and convince ourselves that a nagging pain in our knee is just a little strain that should be pushed through and endured. I have run through pain numerous times during my decade long love affair with running.

So being the good little time-obsessed runner that I am, I naturally had a goal for today’s training run. 8 miles, at sub 10 min mile pace, at an easy heart rate. No worries. Have done 7 before, what’s another mile? The weather was perfect. At 9 in the morning, the skies were cloudless and blue, the wind was chilly, and strong enough to provide some natural resistance training. The temperature was low 40’s and incresing. The sun was slowly rising in the sky, providing just enough heat to balance the bite of the wind.

I started out on the wood bridge that spans the salt marsh, and noticed that my muscle effort seemed kind of challenging in order to get my heart rate high enough to get some training effect. My pace was fast, 9:20 minute miles, and I still couldn’t get my heart rate to approach 158. My breathing was easy and controlled, but I felt like I had to increase my cadence, my foot speed, and my toe off to get to a place where I felt challenged. I finally got somewhere close to 158. I decided I didn’t want to push my muscles any harder than I was already doing. I settled into a nice 9:30 pace that felt way too easy windwise. Whatever. I settled into my pace and focused on running tall, pulling my shoulders back, keeping light on my feet. I felt great at the 4 mile turnaround, and headed home. As I rounded a corner, I felt powerful! I was channeling my inner Kenyan as I rounded the corner and headed out for the final 2.5 miles toward the wood bridge. And then I felt a tight pulling in my glute, with some referred pain down my iliotibial band, the stretch of connective tissue that runs from your hip to the outer aspect of your knee. The last time I had this, I proceeded to push through the mild pain, complete my prescribed 14 mile run anyway, and blow my marathon season because I had to rest for 8 weeks.

I had a decision to make. Continue in the Pain Cave of Performance or exit the Pain Cave of Perfection? The competitor in me wanted to report my 8 easy miles in less than 80 minutes. I was temped to keep running. After all, it was only 2.5 miles, a cakewalk at this stage of the game. But I stopped. I put my GPS on pause and I stretched my glutes and IT band. They felt better. I ran easy for a couple hundred yards, but I could still feel the twinge, particularly in the glutes.

I decided that competitors also need to know when to reel it in. sometimes being a pain wuss is the right thing to do. So I switched off my GPS and turned off my ipod. As I removed my earbuds, I was treated to the sound of the rough ocean waves. I walked along the creek toward the salt marsh bridge, preferring the sounds of the sea to the beat of my techno mix. I looked up at the sky and saw the robin’s egg blue closest to the marsh gradually melt into the darker azure blue near the zenith of the sky. The sea birds were singing. The sun was warming my face. As I took a deep, intentional breath, the smell of the ocean breeze removed any sadness I felt about not meeting my training goal.

As I walked along the wood bridge through the salt marsh, I watched in envy as a snowy egret procured his breakfast of fresh mullet from the creek. I suddenly became acutely aware of my own lack of breakfast at such a late hour. Luckily, I had less than half a mile to walk to my car, where my post workout protein/chocolate peanut butter bar awaited.

As I sit here typing, I am aware of the slightest ache in my right glute. I am fortunate that massage therapy was already scheduled within a few hours. I have no doubt that exiting the Pain Cave of Perfection was the right call today. With a little luck, a professional massage and a lot of foam rolling the next few days, my guess is that I will be at track Tuesday night ready to rip.

So I can’t report to you that I met my intended goal of 8 miles in less than 80 minutes. But I can tell you that I am gradually learning how to balance the rigors of hard training while simultaneously respecting the limits of my body. And I have a feeling that learning this lesson moves me one step closer to realizing my athletic dreams.